“So why don’t you go alone?” | “Really? Why did you go alone??”
That’s the common questions people usually ask me before and after I decided to do something alone like watching a movie alone, eating alone, or even traveling alone. I always answer with, “Alright!” for the first question, and answer with, “Why not?” for the later.
I love those people who ask the first question and I’m getting tired explaining myself to those people who ask the second question. I think I’ve written about this long long ago before, but I recently saw something that kinda bothered me somehow and I feel like I want to say something about it. Well, not really saying, but more to explaining myself, in hoping that people will get it somehow.
1. Traveling alone is (almost) equal with limitless!
I’m the type of guy that likes to go traveling by myself. I like the feeling of being a stranger in someone’s else town. It started on the very first real trip after I graduated from university. Yes, I was a late bloomer when it comes to traveling. By real trip, I meant we’re the one who arrange everything, not like a family arranged trip or field trip with friends. My first was Bali. I went there alone. At that time, all of my friends were already had a job and I was still waiting for my call, so it was hard to find a friend to go with. Then, my mom asked me that very first question. “Why don’t you go alone? It’s ok la.” I thought about it for a few days, and then I said to her that I decided to go by myself. I think I was hooked since then. Not only about the traveling but about being a solo traveler as well. It was fun! I got to decide where I wanna go without discussing it with others, what time I wanna go, how to go there, and if I suddenly felt lazy, I just could call it off and found some other day to do it. Super flexible. Since then, I went to several trips alone as well. I went to Hong Kong alone, to Singapore alone, to Bandung alone, and again to Bali (even stayed there alone for more than two weeks).
Look, I’m not saying that going with your friends is bad. No, not at all. If you can find the right partners or group, it can be really-really fun. Despite of my habit of going alone, I do have a certain group of friends that I will not think twice to say yes if they ask me out on a trip.
Also, going alone means you have more chances to talk with the locals or other travelers. Go to some restaurant and talk with the waiter or the owner. Talk to the hostel staff, ask them if they have a combined schedule that you can join in with other guests. Or just as simple as ask locals to help you take some photos. All of those can lead to some interesting information about the local places or just some crazy stories between traveler.
Or as my friend wrote in her blog, use Tinder or any other dating apps and go EXPLORE. 😎
2. I actually like going to a cinema alone.
Why? Cause basically for me it’s the same when you go with your friends. I rarely talk with my friends once the movie has started. And when I talk, it would be like a really-really short whisper. So with friends or no friends in kind of a same situation. Unless, you’re the type of people who likes to talk a lot with your friend next to you during a movie. Then I suggest you to buy the DVD instead. 🙂
And when you meet up with your friends later, you can still discuss about the movie. It doesn’t need to happen right after the movie, no? You can use it as topic to talk about with them when you got nothing else to say.
Lastly, the popcorn. It’s all yours, buddy. Nobody there slipping their hands into the bucket. 😎
3. Being alone is not necessarily lonely. Remember that.
Seriously, if you keep saying that people who like to do things alone or go somewhere alone must be a lonely person, I’m going to smack some senses into that head of yours. Going alone is like having a me time, you know? I bet everyone need this from time to time. And I want to quote a tweet from @aMrazing (Alexander Thian):
I eat, watch movie, travel alone. And I enjoy these activities very much. Not that I have no friends, but I am comfortable with myself. R u?
There. Well said. I think the same goes for me. I’m actually comfortable with myself in doing all the stuff that I usually do. Part of the reason maybe because I’m the only child in the family, so I got used to do everything by myself from early years. Some other reason… well, just like how he said. I’m fine with it. 🙂
Even now I’m writing this from a coffee shop in Bandung. Yes, I’m alone. Yes, another solo trip for me. Yes, definitely enjoying myself here.
So… why not? 🙂